Hello, my name is ___, and this is my blog of suppressed feelings and semi motivational words and phrases to help everyone who feels the same way I do. I grew up in an abusive home and I've had a past of self harm and an on/off eating disorder.
I am not in any way pro-mia/ana, OR pro-self harm. I'm just a fucked up 19 year old girl in a fucked up world.
Don't fall into the trap of pretending everything's fine when you know it isn't. And don't hold strong opinions about things you don't understand.

I usually blog here late at night because that's when the dark thoughts are allowed to creep back in.

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Anonymous said: Hey there! I recently found this blog and I've been coming back when I felt sad and wondered why I always felt such feelings. That led me to speak with a therapist. I was diagnosed with Manic-Depressive disorder and that helped me get the medicine I needed. When I was at support group, I saw a friend. I knew him but didn't know he also had a mental illness! We started talking and he turned out to be a great guy! One thing led to another and now he's my boyfriend. :) Thank you so so so SO much!

Hello! Hi! This message makes me so incredibly happy you have no idea.
I’m so happy for you for seeking help and wanting to know why you felt the things you felt. And I’m so happy that you’re doing better and you found somebody that makes you happy and still understands everything you went/are going through. I should be thanking you though, for giving me this sort of… stamp of approval in letting me know that I’m able to help others.
Thank you for this loving message, and I really, genuinely hope for the best for you in the future.

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I hope I’m not the only person who spends hours wishing they’d had more time, energy, money, etc. to accomplish their lifelong dreams.

When kids are young they’re told to dream big and then go after them with every they have, but nobody really tells them that they might never have what they need to do so. And that when they’re older and have to settle for less, it might just kill them inside.

When I was little I wanted to be a figure skater or a gymnast that was talented enough to go to the Olympics and inspire others who watched them on television, just like I was. But I never had the money, support system, or years of practice to help me do that.

I watch figure skaters now and I’m still inspired and upset that I can’t do what I wanted to do as a little girl. And now that I’m older and at an age where I have to make important decisions on what to go to college for and do for the rest of my life, I’m lost.

I wonder if other people have the same troubles I’m having. I wonder how old they are and if the conflicting feelings ever subsided with age or if they still feel regretful in having to settle for something less than what they wanted.

I mean seriously, if everyone had exactly what they needed and had the drive for what they wanted to do in life, what was their dream? And did it ever get easier if they had to come to terms with the fact it might be too impossible and too late?

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Ivan Onoprienko and Dimitry Shabalin - Anton Lisin